Saturday, February 28, 2009

White trash bonanza...for reals.

At about 6 me and caroline get dressed for the white trash themed birthday party. Oh did it get trashy....we walk down to kristi's. for 2 hours there is no one else really there. me and caroline go next door and start drinking. some creepy fat kid starts pouring shots and after like 4 or 5, i complain that hes a pussy and pour a few shots of whiskey. they all whimper as i divide the shots up and then we take them. Glorious.

So i hear screams and i walk back into bobs apartment to see the sight of bob being punched in the head by some talk ghetto kid. I run up behind him, put him in a sleeper hold and pull him to the door. we have shit regulated and bobs shirt is ripped. 30 seconds later, the kid is back with his fat 6 foot 2 friend. Everything is on the verge of breaking but were still being diplomatic. Then the original kid steps in and punches bob again. he gets a few punches off until i grab him by the throat again and then i see a bottle whizzing towards my head. Luckily the poor boy who i have in asleeper hold, blocks the bottle with his head. blood pours from his head and i pull him to the floor. He smacks his head on the stove before landing on a few empty 40's. a few more punches are thrown before we finally wrestle them out of the apartment. At some point, kristi and caroline come out of kristis apartment and stare at me, jaws on the floor. Everyones looking at me, as if i have 10 heads. its at this point that my face and foot is covered in blood. Everyone is trying to clean me up. im convinced its not my blood and i light a cigarette as kaitlin (bobs gf) cleans my face. we hear a knock and guess what? they're back again. I push my way into the hallway, slamming one dude in the throat and shutting the door. some girl is talkign shit to kristi and asking for paper towels so i throw a roll at her and push her and her friends down the hallway. Some kid kevin steps up to kristi like hes going to hit her. I step in between and throw my face at his. He steps back and they start to leave. after a bit more talking, they are all down the stairs and i walk back into the apartment. were all screaming, Dani is near tears, allen is in tears and were all shaking. Just want to say that kristi held it down and ripped the hair out of that chicks skull. Kristi represented that shit. She saw me with blood in my head and totally wrecked her. Caroline was there too....in spirit. anyways. i get cleaned up, im bleeding from my feet and face. I get cleaned up, give Dani a hug and do a shot with her. Then we all sit on kristi's couch and recount our tales of the fight.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Justin Campbell



Name: Justin Campbell

Age: 11

Favorite Mixed drink: mind eraser

Favorite beer: beer.

Favorite liquor: jack daniels

Favorite drinking song: 99 bottles of beer on the wall

Best drunk memory or story: naked navy seals

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? thirtys all day

Random fact about you: i have a bellybutton

Matt


Name:Matt Mattice

Age:27

Favorite Mixed drink:Long Island Iced Tea

Favorite beer: Molson XXX

Favorite liquor: Vodka

Favorite drinking song: The Parting Glass

Best drunk memory or story: Way too many

would you rather have a 40 or a 30?:A 100

Random fact about you:I wrote a children's book in college

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Daves Birthday

At 10:30 Me and caroline head to the mckibbon lofts for my friend daves birthday. I meet up with my friend David and we walk into the party. Theres a DJ, about 70 or so kids and the place is packed, hazy and hot. I crack open my first beer and light a cigarette. we talk for a while. And then me and Dave head out to find another party across the street.

The cops are outside so we go back inside but Kristi and lauren call me and say theyre almost there but what to do because of the cops. I tell them to come on in because a ton of people just came in with bags of beer. Just to be safe, krisit takes her I.d. and throws it behind her back to lauren who catches it and hides it. The cops stop kristi and start giving her shit but she sticks to be 22 and losing her ID. the cops just say fuck it and let them in.

Thats how i remember it happening. but Lauren had a problem with it so she re-wrote it in bullet form and relayed it to me via IM. Heres her version and the problem she had with my version

kristi threw her id to me when the cops told her to stand against the wall
she said she was 21
and she didnt have her id
not that she lost it


Theyre SO lucky. the next interesting part of the night, was towards the end. about 2am i go into daves room with caroline and we go in his little loft area above his bed and sit on the couch. theres no one up there and caroline start to pass out. We talk for a bit and then jake comes up and passes out on the floor. Caroline asks me to go get chips so i get up and go. When i return. for some reason i climb into the top part of daves room through a little window about 10 feet up a wall...I dont know why, but it seemed like a good idea. I eat some chips. drink my 5th 24oz can and suddenly have no shirt on. At some point some people are upstairs with me and caroline, and her and her friend are throwing shit at the people on the dance floor. Then she starts going through Daves shit. She finds a little baggie of pot and goes "cool got some pot" and puts it in her pocket. WTF? Really? so i get it back from her and she gets all angry and leaves. By 5 oclock. its almost cleared out and so i put on a song to end the night which im not sure what it was. after the song ends. i get onto the couch with caroline and we pass out almost immedietly.

Im awoken at 10:30 by daves alarm. I want to die. im deathly hung over. I go back to sleep until 1 when i get up, smoke a cig and start heping them clean. we fill 6 bags with cans and bags and the place is still a mess, but i have to leave. so i take the trash out and walk back to the subway.

Bob


Name: Rob Watson

Age:20

Favorite Mixed drink: Whiskey Sour

Favorite beer: Ommegang Abbey Ale

Favorite liquor:Patron in my cup

Favorite drinking song: Any late 90's throwback

Best drunk memory or story: St. Patrick's Day 07. Lotta people drenched in booze.

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? 40's all day. everyday.

Random fact about you:I play bass in a metal/hardcore band. An EP is currently being mixed. Prepare to have your face melted.

Matt Fucking Parry




Name: Commodore Matthew Parry

Age: 20

Favorite Mixed drink: Bacardi and Midget Cola

Favorite beer: Sunshine Wheat or Fat Tire

Favorite liquor: Jager! Savor The Flavor!

Favorite drinking song: Any song that reminds me of Rugby

Best drunk memory or story: Oh Wow. Okay, I'm going with New Years 08. Cheers Governor!

Would you rather have a 40 or a 30? A 30 would be optimal, I like sharing with my friends.

Random fact about you: I'm so fast that I can run around the planet and kick myself in the back of the head

Dana "Theres a cat on your shoulder" P


Name: Dana Polomski

Age: 19

Favorite Mixed drink: I don't know. Mojitos maybe? Vodka + cranberry? Margaritas?

Favorite beer: I've been liking UFO and Blue Moon lately.

Favorite liquor: Jager, haha.

Favorite drinking song: Stuff I can "sing" to.

Best drunk memory or story: Anything that happens on New Years, or my house way way back in the day.

would you rather have a 40 or a 30?: 40.

Random fact about you: I have 5 horsies!

Kyle "Nippin" G



Name: Kyle

Age: 20

Favorite Mixed drink: cran vodka or tequila and oj

Favorite beer: Guinness extra stout

Favorite liquor: tequila

Favorite drinking son: against me: pints of guiness make you strong

Best drunk memory or story: haha ANY night at danas back in the day...bonfires

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? 30

Random fact about you: always sunny & arrested development are my favorite sows ever

Delida



Name: Delida "Lidie"

Age: 25 ( this is so bad already.)

Favorite Mixed drink : Long Island Iced tea of course. Its the perfect catalyst for particularly raunchy, misguided, shameful behavior.

Favorite beer: Actually, I prefer champagne (I'm kinda a gay man)

Favorite liquor: Rhymes with YUM...RUM.

Favorite drinking song: Whatever ridiculous bullshit spews forth in an Irish accent while I am immersed in my stooper.I am a belligerent leperchaun.

Best drunk memory or story: Breaking a whole in my futon after attempting a re-enactment of Pee-Wee Herman doing the Tequila dance, or Crashing of the back of my brothers futon and Mario just laughing his ass off. ( me drunk+ futons=bad news.)

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? I would rather have a bottle of pink Andre' champagne, then when I am toasty I'll drink your 40. Sorry.

Random fact about you: When kids eat their boogers I feel like I'll die.

j Wiggs



Name: J Wiggs

Age: 19

Favorite Mixed drink: vodka tonic

Favorite beer: Kozel... and miller lite

Favorite liquor: tequila

Favorite drinking song: anything i can sing along to

Best drunk memory or story: drinking shots of vodka and later falling asleep in the shower for 2 1/2 hours

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? whatevers available

Random fact about you: i am an MJ fanatic

Ben



Name: benjamin richard heymann

Age: 20...shit

Favorite Mixed drink: gin a tonic

Favorite beer: red stripe. eat my shit...

Favorite liquor: jim beam

Favorite drinking song: anything by iggy pop/stooges

Best drunk memory or story: that must be a joke cuz most memories arent built around booze....any party at my apartment i guess

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? beer is beer, kid

Random fact about you: i hate most of the people that i know...

Saturday, February 21, 2009

LAURENAAAAA!



Name: Lauren a.k.a laurenaaaa

Age:19

Favorite Mixed drink: red bull/vodka

Favorite beer: tecate or blue moon w. an orange slice

Favorite liquor: absolute citron

Favorite drinking song: any sublime song ever

Best drunk memory or story: WINGIS mwahahaha must i say more?

would you rather have a 40 or a 30?: 40 st. ides duh

Random fact about you: i know every line to any friends episode ever made.

Homegirl Michela



Name: Michela

Age: 20

Favorite Mixed drink: jack and coke

Favorite beer: guinness

Favorite liquor: whiskeyy

Favorite drinking song: 213 'Gotta Find A Way'

Best drunk memory or story: hmmm most recent has to be getting so drunk that driving around with busta rhymes and his entourage at 4 in the morning seemed like a great idea

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? 40

Random fact about you: shia labeouf asked me out when i was 14. i said no.

Anthony



Name: Anthony (Narrator of the blog)

Age: 20

Favorite Mixed drink: whiskey and coke

Favorite beer: St. Ides

Favorite liquor: whiskey

Favorite drinking song: Steal my sunshine by len. best song ever when drunk

Best drunk memory or story: This is a really really tough one. probably the night on Gregs island when me and jake almost died and probably both had alcohol poisoning.

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? 40!

Random fact about you: I bit my nails until they bleed and use exacto blades to cut my cuticles. i cant help it.

Caroline




Name: Caroline

Age: 19

Favorite Mixed drink: soco and lime

Favorite beer: Coors Light

Favorite liquor: probably vodka, because it goes well with lots and lots of things

Favorite drinking song: Beer -RBF

Best drunk memory or story: I peed my pants while running away from my friends to a bathroom, dropped my phone in the toilet, lost my friends, took off my pants and wandered around the city lost for 2 hours with bright pink underwear and a sweatshirt tied around my waist. For some reason, a bodega sold me a six pack, which I carried in my hands. Finally I ran into a sympathetic gay couple who new where my dorm was and walked me back while holding my hands.

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? 40.

Random fact about you: I had a beluga whale birthday party when I was 3.

Matt Decola



Name: Pope Matthew James DeCola

Age: 19

Favorite Mixed drink: rum and coke

Favorite beer: Corona/high life

Favorite Liquor: Captain

Best drunk memory: Drinking out of matts moms vase or falling down the stairs at matts house with justin and jake and
tiki. please give me a better one of you think of one.

40 or 30: both

Random fact about me: i like drinking a beer while taking a shower. try it. a shower will never be the same again

Kristi!




Name: Kristi

Age: 20 ( in one week, like you)

Favorite Mixed drink: Margarita ( i'm mexican...)

Favorite beer: Corona ( omg im so mexican maybe i should change this...)

Favorite liquor: Tequila ....

Favorite drinking song: i don't know what this means...song about drinking? or song to listen to while drinking? if its the first one, its kiss me im shitfaced. if its my fav song to listen to while drinking it's currently Why Don't You Get A Job by The Offspring haha

Best drunk memory or story: oh goshh..there are so many. well lets go with getting a gun pulled on me on avenue a while i was out in the rain (in shorts) looking for your drunk ass.

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? a fuckin 40 of st ides.

Random fact about you: i'm allergic to vodka but i fucking drink it anyway!!

KP PHONE HOME!

Friday night, kristi informed me that her and lauren were drinking and that me and caroline were invited. Then she told me they had free drinks and while they were drinking cosmos i figured its better than nothing so at about 10:30ish me and caroline headed down to St Marks. We arrive to a new boy in the apartment. Alan lives next door. we start drinking and about 4 drinks in, were out of vodka and im sober. caroline gets her champagne and starts it up. after a glass shes tipsy. im not wearing a shirt becaus ti gave it to caroline to fix a spill (my fault). Kristi is on the floor eating a subway sandwhich and when shes starts to pass out, lauren asked for it. But kristi wakes up and fights for the sandwhich. I am disappointed that i am sober so i convince caroline to buy me a 40 of old e. When i get back with that 40, there is a spot on the couch open and i sit down and start talking to Bob's girlfriend, Caitlin and we get ont he topic of the Neo-conservative and liberal switch and the enviroment and all that shit. Its a fun conversation but im started to feel my 4 cosmos and the first half of my 40, so we stop talking. Kristi is still laying on the floor and she mutters "HOME!" and after a few times i realize she wants to go to bed, so i help her to bed and tuck her in. i guess the rest of the night was boring...until everyone left except me caroline and lauren. We start smoking some hookah and talking. we talk about life and whats important and like total shot boxes were real deep. Lauren has an epiphany and realizes she doesnt want to do social work. I feel happy for her. After about an hour or 2. she goes to sleep and me and caroline pass out on the couch. Very uncomfortable couch...my back still hurts.


lauren bartending

Monday, February 16, 2009

Hookah and new friends

Ok not gonna lie. Not quite sure how this thursday night happened. As far a i can remember we started drinking and at 11 or so, i was drunk. we were all drunk. My first memory is someone mentioning hookah and then 5 mins later, there was a hookah on the table. We were drinking pride and clark vodka. oh yeah. we sang blink 182, big d and the kids table and other 90's songs. It was a fun and exciting night, but i dont remember it. I cant remember. basically. Really drunk, ran out of cigarettes, smoked cigarillos instead. gross.

I did however find pictures...



So this is the table where we all sat around.


This is bob and that is lauren. Bob brought the hookah.


This is sarah. shes bobs friend. She had sweet shoes.



Drinks: between 10 and 15
drunk level: 8.5 out of 10. drunk enough that 3 or 4 days later, it doesnt exist in my memory.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Homegirls, rain, Homeboys.

So last night. lets see. Where to start? Bottle of smirnoff. 4 people. Bottle gone in like an hour or 2 tops. Lauren was a covert bartender who was refilling out shots before we knew we had taken the one before. it was awesome. home girl michaela was over and we watched lost while kristi cried in her room and lauren slept. kristi proceeded to interrupt everytime it was off a commercial to cry on me. At some point before lost we got a handle of 16$ plastic bottle vodka but only took like 5 shots out of it. At about 10:30 i got super depressed and angry and proceeded to slam af ew shots and take off my socks and shirt and leave the apartment. I walked around the block, smoking a cigarette until i realized it was into the filter. I saw a group of people outside a bar and asked if i could bum a cig from someone. They all said i was crazy but a girl jordan or her friend offered me a cigarette and westarted talking. we talking about why i was half naked and if i was cold and shit. shes from ridgefield. i saved her from a creepy guy by acting like ive known her my whole life. It was fun. After giving my number and promising we'd hang out, i parted ways with them and got back to lauren and kristis at about 11:45. They screamed at me saying that they went looking for me and that kristi got a gun pulled on her by a man in car. After drinking more and puking a little i wandered back in the rain and passed out in bed. Thursday was a SHITTY SHITTY day. I was so naseous all day. but its ok because we started again soon.

total drinks: 10 shots
food: a honey bun all day
Drunk level: 8.5 out of 10

Sunday, February 8, 2009

5 day bender

So i drank from tuesday to saturday. i will skip tuesday to friday because it consists of me drinking 40s or whiskey from noon to midnight and then wandering back to my dorm where i pass out and then go back to kristis or whoevers and drinking more. Saturday though was a bit different.

I have a girl from germany and my friend alicia from boston with me and on friday germany slept at some guys house, so at 11am me and alicia came back from my dorm and go to kristi's. I start drinking as soon as i get there. im about 4 40s in by 6 or 7 and i start to slow the drinking down. i dont want to to get too drunk to fast, theres a party in brooklyn. We go next door and kristi's neighboor dani is getting ready. she walks into the kitchen and goes, Anthony, would you like to take a shot with me. I dont think ive ever jumped up that fast. i flew to the kitchen and got shotted. this happened again a few minutes later. at about 10 or so kristi goes to retrieve her wine from teh freezer. oh no. its broken. i attempt to put the frozen wine into a pot to melt and be drank (were poor), but seeing as there is no bottom to the bottle it all falls out over my shoes and the floor. oh no. lauren hates me. so i clean it up and we start walking to the subway. it is at this point that i realize, im wasted. how did that happen. i have to run to catch up with the group. we arrive in about 15 minutes and i sit on the stair and start drinkign while waiting for the train. a few minutes later i start humming smash mouth. so does the kid in front of me. so i start singing it. a few seconds later all 8 of us are screaming smashmouth. Yeah i started that.

So train ride over, kristi goes,
'i like that shirt." to which i reply,
"i like that cardigan".
Can i have the shirt?
can i have that cardigan?
Sure
Sure.
I like that jacket.
i like THAT jacket.
can we switch jackets?
so now that i am in a cardigan and fur hooded jacket, i take a couple swigs of my 40. Were loud. by we i mean me and kristi. were trashed. We arrive at the party a few minutes later and i realize that my bestie heather is there. Awesome.
So me and kristi and lauren and alicia and germany go into the back room to smoke. within 15 minutes kristi (who had been standing next to me. Starts to pass out. i catch her and hold her up. Then i sit her down in a bean bag chair and sit next to her. Awesme baby sitting time! after a conversation with a drug dealer, a girl named betsy comes over with a sharpie and smile. OH HEEEEEEEEELL NO.

You can draw on my before you draw on her.
REALLY!?
Shes passed out, dont you dare draw on my kristi!

so i let her draw a dick on my face. Its called chivalry and gallantry thank you very much.

Guess what happened next...because your guess is as good as mine. the next thing i remember im in line for the bathroom and heather is saying theres no toilet paper, so i go on a hunt for toiloet paper for her. i cant find any but i did find a brown bag. so that was good enough. I went in next and made my self puke a little. just to make me feel better.

i put on afro man and everyone dances and cheers. yay! i see dani drinking whiskey straight from the bottle and decide that she is the most badass and intimidating woman i have ever met. I get a call from heather telling me to elt her in. I sheepishly say ok and inform her that i dont remember walking in and so i dont know how to get downstairs. after a few minutes i figure it out and retrieve her from the cold.

after an uneventful hour or so, lauren decided it was time to leave so we walk kristi up (it was difficult) and head back. we get on the train and me and lauren try to run down the car. Lauren knocks me over and i hit my shin. thanks lauren!

we got off the train and go to soup and burger. ive got a dick on my face, the place is packed, we smell like a walking bar. kristi offers to buy me food so i get a burger. Paying for the food is fucked up and kristi loses 60$ on the deal. anyways. as were leaving someone taps me on the shoulder.

Dude is it like national draw dicks on faces day?
no. i was saving my frirnd from getting drawn on.
oh cause youre like the 2nd person ive seen with a drawn dick on their face tonight.
well it is saturday.......

i dont remember the subway ride back to my dorm but i do know that at noon ish the next day, me and alicia went back down to kristis fro breakfast and i wanted to die. i was wearing tiny short shorts and my sunglasses. at one point i got up form the table and pushed between people near the door saying. excuse me, im going to go die. thanks.

Im real classy and grown'd up.

drinks : 5 40s, 2 shots of whiskey, half a bottle of wine, shot of german liqour about 20 drinks
drunk level: 9.5 out of 10

Sorry guys

Once again i've hit a bit of a drunken hiccup in life. I haven't written about anything for about a month. its been a bit hectic with school. ive missed out on 20 or so nights. In summary and quickly i will say, someone shit in a bag and threw it from my window, i spray painted my wall and door and proceeded to wake up my entire hall with the smell and noise, nearly got kicked out of housing, today is the last day of my 5 day bender, been told on 3 occasions that i smell like straight whiskey by a teacher or student and also, without ruining the story about last night, got a dick drawn on my face. So that being said. I apologize for slacking recently. but ive been drunk. can you blame me?