CT Thanksgiving

I can home for thanksgiving on friday night. At about 9pm i went over to my friend Matts house where we had all our parties in highschool. I show up and everyone is in the living room talking. Somehow as soon as i get there is it ruit time and we all go downstairs to the GodFather (ruit tables name). I get 3rd game with Ben and i sit and wait. While i wait I put on this pimp brown plaid jacket with a fur head and i start dancing with dana all pimp and shit. We laugh and realize we are white and i get on the table with ben.

We set up a 15 cup game and start playing. Ben decides he is driving and doesnt want to drink. Fuck. Alright. I decide to gotta clean up and i bounce ad get it in matt's drink cup. Beruit. We win. so after that game, I dont really remember what i did.

***memory lapse***
Double fisting PBRs

***Memory Lapse***
Im playing ruit with kristi. I make 3 cups in a row and the opponents tell me im leaning because i walk past the corner of the table to shoot. I ask them if i can stand here and they say yes. I shoot and i make it. I love being me.

***memory lapse***
Cops are here for some reason.
"kyle, you are the only person here i care about." and then i pull her into the boiler room where we smoke a cigarette and wait for the cops to be gone. I open the door and everyone is like right there and they all say "are you smoking a cig?". I shut the door and continue smoking.

***Memory Lapse***
Im upstairs with a beer in the pocket, and one in my hand, Nick is doing shots and hes a dick and doesnt give me one. When he turns around, i grab the bottle chug for a few seconds and put it back on the table. He has no idea. HAH ASSHOLE.

***memory lapse***
Im climbing the ladder in the garage to the beer stash. Double fisting...AGAIN...

***memory lapse***
Someone has soaked woodchips in captain morgans over night...why? i dont know but i throw some in a shot glass and try it. tastes like woodchips and rum. Go figure...

***memory lapse***
Im cutting up vicodin and doing lines. Im pretty sure this was before the capt morgans. but yeah...

***memory lapse***
I cut up like 2 more vics and a few xanax i think for other people.

Ok. end of the night. Im on the bathroom floor. I'm not puking but im real comfy. Dana comes in and starts peeing. we say a few words and then she leaves. I get up and say goodbye to everyone there, and pass out downstairs.

I wake up at 930 am and matt is waking me up. I go upstairs and sit on the couch with a giant cup of water. Were real hungover. we go outside for a cigarette. after i finish i lay down on the pavement in his driveway. a few minutes later my mom shows up. Awesome. Hungover as shit.

She tells me she is going to clean me and my brothers teeth. Fuck. Way hungover. want to die. Please kill me. I get to the office and go down to the breakroom and sleep. I puke a little but im good. She cleans my teeth and i go to work with my step dad. Fuck this, Im dieing. I get home at 2pm and lay down in bed and sleep until kristi calls me. She wants to drink. Uh oh. here we go again...

Drinks-at least 15 that i can rememeber. We think closer to 20
Drunk level: 8 out of 10

I've been slacking...

Since i last wrote, i've drank about 5 times. i've been slacking, i know. SO I'll start at the middle and skip some boring nights.

a few sundays ago, i took the train back from CT, and i drank the whole train ride. I just sat there, and drank my whiskey while sitting on my bag, in the middle of the train. i was horribly depressed and felt like 'that guy' at the bar. The one staring into his glass for 5 hours until he falls over and passes out. Luckily i didnt. with great dignity, i got up and walked back to my room.


Last monday, my friend Kristi came to NYC to visit me. We got drunk. Go figure. We drank for a while in my room, (whiskey and arizona iced tea) and once we were warm enough to go for a walk, we wandered down to st marks place. We grabbed some pizza and i walked into a bodega to grab a beer. as im reaching for a thing of colt 45, a big homeless man says :

"naw dude, if you like that colt 45 stuff, try this. Highest alcohol in a malt liqour you can get!"
so of course i grab a can of ST. Ides and walk to pay. The man asks for money and i toss him $0.50. I pay for the bear and i sit up on my stoop and drink. me and kristi decide to head back and i finish my beer and start on the water bottle of whiskey i brought.

We get back to my room and pass out. Boring night.






Then last weekend, i went back to CT to work, and ended up at my friend matt's house. I'm greeted with hugs and handshakes and after only a few minutes, i hop onto the ruit table with matt as my partner. we wreck shit for 3 games, but i made the mistake of take break to roll a spliff and smoke. So after that i couldnt play this damn game. I sat and sipped my whiskey and beer and smoked more.

Eventually my friend dana get her friend to come. This guy works at a pharmacy. He came in waving bottles of pills. He was tossing out Xanax and Vicoden like a fucking beauty queen float tossing out confetti and candy. It was awesome. i snorted some vicoden and sat on the couch for an hour rotating a bowl and spliff with matt and this girl Audrey.

After while i hopped back on the ruit table and im not sure if i won or lost, but eventually i found matt's couch and fell asleep.

I'm awoken at 9 am to sound of my phone. Its my step dad telling me hes on his way to get me so we can go to work. I say fine. and go back to sleep. Its about 25 degrees outside and im out working, hungover and tired, wearing canvas shoes. It sucked.


This is kyle catching skittles we used to make skittle vodka. It was nasty


This is dana. say oh hai!


More Dana.


Momma Lauren, geoff, frank and the illusive Kristi

And finally...matt. THE Matt Parry.



Um...lets see. since i last wrote, i finished off the rest of my dubra handle and a handle of jim bean. I drank another night or 2 in CT but i didnt feel like writing about them. They were akward and uneventful. Ex-girlfriend trying to talk to me while im sitting on the bed that she slept with my best friend on? yeaaaaahhh.. no thanks.

Gregs Lake House (HIGHSCHOOL STORIES)

Greg’s Lakehouse

This is a story that is about a year old.

I get invited to Greg Overfield’s lakehouse where there is an island and a boat and beer and fun. We drive about an hour to Old Lyme Connecticut and when we arrive we go out on the boat and blah blah blah. Fast forward to about 8 oclock at night when we load his boat up with about four 30’s , a 12 of corona, hot dog buns and cigarettes. We get to the island in about 3 trips ( there is 4 people per trip). When we are all finally on the island we realize it is cold. We tell Matt Parry to make us a fire. Hes a fucking boy scout, he should have that shit on lock right? WRONG. Takes the dude like 45 minutes to make a fire. Anyways, in the meantime, we’ve all started drinking. The night is a year ago and I cant remember it in a logical linear path so instead. Heres random events from the night.

We divide the island into 2 parts, the Beef Zone and the No Beef Zone. These divisions are made because Matt Parry and David start arguing and fighting. I walk in between them and say “no beef dude, don’t bring beef to the island” People then all pick sides and either say thigns like “beef free or no beef” or they scream “ALL BEEF ALL THE TIME. USDA GRADE A BEEF’. The no beef zone is a tarp on the ground where 4 or 5 of us sit and talk quietly about life and stare at the stairs. When we move, if we touch another dude we say no homo and stupid bro shit like that. Its fun. We are all drunk. The beef zone on the other hand are screaming, getting naked, skinny dipping, wrestling and being belligerent. I am extremely depressed this night. I waned from the fire to the tarp and back many times. I’m hunched over like Quasimodo with a blanket on my back and a cigarette in my lips. Put my feet in the fire because it feels good to hurt them. Total emo shit. But whatever. Shit happens, and girls suck.

Someone drinks matts coronas, he is ANGRY. ANGRY PARRY IS ANGRY. We laugh at him and walk away.

Dana (beef zone) hits on her ex Matt Decola (No beef zone) and we collectively tell her to choke on a dick.

Dana (beef zone) goes skinny dipping with my best friend jake. They say they didn’t have sex, but I find a red thong on the boat in the morning….believe what you may.

Dana and Matt Parry wrestle. Half naked.

Greg Overfield passes out early and we roll him to the corner of the island.

Someone goes out for a cigarette run at about 2 am. It takes them forever to get back.

I smoke an entire pack of American spirits in about 2 hours.

Me and jake finish a 30 and a half.

No one brought blankets so all 9 or 10 of us that are sill awake pile into matts tent and we all pass out somewhat belabored. Jake spills a beer under the tent and we are all cold all night. Fuck you Jake. Fuck you. I know youre reading this. That shit was cold.

In the morning jake looks like he is dead. He barely moves and we carry him to the boat. Matt parry is still asleep and someone takes his tent down and leaves it on him. Its hilarious although eh doesn’t think so. He roid rages and we laugh.

Me and greg go out for bacon egg and cheeses. We are supposed to come right back and give everyone theres but we decide to just eat ours there. It is totally worth the angry faces that greet us when we get back.

I drive home with matt decola and jake. Me and jake are dead. Matt goes to a skatepark and bikes for a bit. I take one look at the park and think that it’s a better idea if I just go back to sleep in his trunk so I do.

All in all the night was amazing. Despite being cold. Drunk, depressed, hungover and half dead.

boston night 2

On Saturday we wake up at about 10 am and go visit Nancy at her work at about noon. Nancy pours me a bailys and coffee, I think I love Nancy. After were done eating im no long hung over and I feel great. I decide that I can live in boston if need be. We get back to alicia’s and she passes out all day long. At about 11 we head to my friend meagans house. Meagan and me swam together for about 8 years and she was the manager of my high school swim team for 3 years. Meagan is like my sister and when I get there she shows off my rib tattoo about every 3 mintues.

About 4 or 5 beers in, I go outside and smoke a cigarette. I make friends with 2 girls and a guy who are out front smoking too. One of the girls is very drunk and falls down on the stairs. They invite me upstairs to the wrestling party that is going on. I agree that this could be fun and I join them up there.

When I get up side is a typical college party. Beer pong, loud music, bros and ho’s. I try to get on the ruit table but the ball went out the window 10 minutes ago. Damn, instead I tell the guy who brought me upstairs “any chance I can get a drink from someone?” he tracks down a bottle of vodka and fills a shot glass and then hands it to me. I drink it and because he is pouring out shots for about 7 people, doesn’t notice me putting the shot glass back on the table and he refills it and hands it to me again. I do this again. I totally snaked 3 shots from this pour boy. After everyone takes their shot I say that I have to go back downstairs and that they just texted me and miss me. I tell him to come down and then I leave.

When I get back downstairs everyone likes my story and laughs. I am happy. I Realize we are listening to shitty music and I jump on the 3 ipods that are there on the table. I find 3 good songs on each ipod and start playing DJ. Everyone is pumped about my selections. I feel happy again. I sing ludacris and NWA. Everyone is impressed that I know the lyrics to EVERYTHING. I keep this going until me Alicia and this girl Christine go downstairs for a cigarette. When we get back upstairs, Everyone is gone or asleep. After about 20 mintues Alicia says shes going to leave and that I can stay if I want. I do want to. Alicia leaves and I sit in the kitchen talking to Christine about music and shit. I’m impressed by her ipod she has hanson and xbxrx. This is an odd combo. I show her a few bands and about 6 oclock we look at each other and say. Its could be dawn right now. That could be sunlight. At about 7 she says shes going to bed. I’m ready to start drinking now and I sit on the couch for a while before I decide I should probably just go back to Alicia’s. Alicia tells me not to hook up with Christine and I decide that this is a good idea and that I don’t really want to. So instead, I walk back to alicias at 7:15 am. I arrive at alicias and after an hour long discussion of why I am a horrible person and why I should probably never leave my hour again, we fall asleep.

Drinks:12 or 15…not sure
Drunk level:5 out of 10

Boston night 1

This weekend I went to boston to visit my friend Alicia at northeastern university. I arrived at about 6 pm on Friday and at about 7 we headed out with her friend nancy. Nancy goes on a mega beer run and gets four 30’s of pbr. We start drinking. At about 5 beers I am feeling sober and over my hang over from Thursday night. At his point we head out to Alicia and nancys friends apartment.

We get to the apartment and I open another beer. I feel akward, I don’t know anyone, but then I see someone setting up a beruit table so I hop on. My partner is a tall effeminate man who has probably never played again. He barely knows the rules. We are down like 1 cups to 4 cups when they sink our last cup. I miss my shot but my partner makes 3 in a row before losing. We decide that we win no matter what they say. I get off the table and drink another beer while changing the music to good music. We listen to J Dilla and Bad brains so I am happy. Alicia leaves for a bit and I am wholly alone. But that’s ok I have PBR and we are friends.

When Alicia returns we jump on the table win a game! WOOT! At least I think we did. I cant remember. Oh well. Were both fairly drunk and Alicia says she is tired so we start walking back to her dorm. Her feet hurt so drunkenly she takes off her shoes and hands them to me, I put a finger through her belt loop and guide her back to her room. As soon as we get back we are both asleep.

Drinks: 12
Drunk level: 7 out of 10

Drinking in a confessional

The first thursday of every month they rotate the exhibitions in the galleries in Chelsea. To celebrate and get everyone ou tto the galleries, they give out free wine and beer. This is amazing. Last night at about 5 oclock i poured my self a very stiff sunny D and vodka (gotta love moms, buying you sunny d and shit!). At about 5:30 it is gone and me and my friend paul begin to walk to chelsea. 6 oclock and we are there. i have to pee so fucking bad so i rush into a corner and go. Paul remarks, "remind me not to shake your hand". I remark "more drinks". We walk into a gallery with a bunch of rich looking assholes. Were wearing jeans and tshirts, theyre all wearing suits. This will be fun. We walk into the drink room and grab some white wine. Wine? Oh no. You see, me and wine love each other and yet we fight. I like to drink it all and it likes to get me so trashed that i cant function.

There is a ping pong table made from shiny metal, me and paul agree that'd be an awesome Beirut table. We finish a glass or two and decide to find another gallery, we walk next door where there are a bunch of shityy abstract paintings on the wall, suddenly music starts playing and a bunch of 16 year olds start doing wierd african dance. I grab a drink. The man asks me if i am of age, i smile drunkenly and say yeah. he doesnt believe me but he gives me and paul a drink. This gallery blows and alcohol is helping. I decide we need to go across the street.

Across the street we walk up a few flights of stairs and we reach a whole new areana of galleries. Small galleries, all right next to each other. AWESOME. We walk into the first one, we realize there are NO DRINKS so we quickly leave. The next one as soon as we walk in a lady says, Hello there are drinks in the back. I can tell were going ot be friends. I walk to the back grab MORE WINE and look at the paintings. they are marble dust and acrylic with photography interwoven in. Its interesting, but it may just be because i am drunk. Im already about 8 drinks in and its not even been an hour. This night HAS to end badly.

We wander into a new gallery that is packed with people and everyone has yuengling bottles in there hands. SWEET. i hunt down the cooler and crack on open. This is amazing. no more shitty wine. The photos in that gallery are all really small and precious i think they were all dont on a 4x5 field camera with a Polaroid back. Anyways. We drink 2 of those and wander back into the hall. This is when a door opens and reveals loud techno, movie screens, bud light, and a church confessional. Im all over that. i walk in, chug the rest of my beer and promptly go grab another. Im denigrated to pointing and saying please to get my beer. There are two video screens, each playing a video of a girl with a horse head dancing and stripping while a guy talks over it. It sounds like he is talking about raping her. Its really interesting. I ask the guy in front if i can go into the confessional. He says yes. I am excited. i hop in and after a few seconds someone else hops in the other side.

I ask her what her sins are, she says what are yours? i say , No i am the priest. She cant circumvent my logic. She never really tells me her sins, but we instead talk about religion and its bearing on free will and personal happiness and existentialism. after abotu 5 minutes, more people have been trying to get in, so she tells me to come to her side so someone else can get in. So i do. i stand in her booth and we talk for a few more minutes before i realize that i need more beer. I say "i need more beer". I think she takes offense to this, because she disappears. Whatever, fuck her then. I came out for beer really.

Anyways, i go back into the confessional and talk to a few more people, one couple actually hooks up in the booth, and im fairly certain i saw him get a bj. I feel dirty. One girl tells me im going to hell for saying i hate jesus. I laugh in her face very loudly and then leave. I grab paul and we start the trek back to my dorms. i get to the street and realize, i cant see straight, DAMN YOU WIIIIIIINE!!!!! about 3 blocks from the galleries, im falling down drunk, literally. i fell down between 2 cars and broke my glasses again (they were already broken but the glue broke). i fell down a few more times and paul had to "no homo" carry me down the street. we get to blender theater and i grab negatives from Cute Girl ( i have a midterm due at 3 oclock the next day...i havent started, but i figured id do it drunk) she hands me the box and leaves. She isnt amused by my drunken stupor. Some other girl is though. Some girl starts hitting on me and paul. Paul is begging for a kiss and im saying dude no. dont do it. Even through my drunken wine/beer goggles i can tell she is a chubby. He remarks about how he'll need a chubby chaser. after getting the Chubbies number, we walk to the dorm and i put him in my room and then walk down to the photo building.

Luckily i dont fall on my way to the photo building. I get there and grab my stuff, and get into the darkroom. I lay down under the enlarger and fall asleep. I am awoken a few minutes later to my friend jenny waking me up.i stand and try to enlarge a photo. this is fucking difficult. i realize i have no photo paper, i grab all my shit and leave. i tell jenny to make sure all my shit is clean, and then i walk back to the dorms and pass out.

Drinks: 12 or 13
drunk level: 9.5 no puking but im pretty cocked.
time span: 3 hours.

Halloween Weekend.

Since my last post i have drank but its only been a few nights and a few drinks per night.


Halloween night i had class until 6 so at 5 i went for a walk with a girl from my class and we smoked a little and then headed back to class. I'm feeling wicked high and we head back to my room where we smoke more and drink a bit.

At about 10:15 I head to brooklyn with cute girl in tow. When we arrive, i am really high, and not drunk at all. i start my 40 and roll a spliff. The party is dead. there is only about 10 people there tops. From here on, the night is just a series of events. Here are the images i saw and the events i remember.


Drinking my 40, taking photos.

Suddenly there is about 60-70 people in this apartment and its nuts. I look across the room and there is a kid perched on a futon with a white wife beater on, bug glasses with a glowstick behind them and a plaid furry bomber hat on. He has a bottle of jack daniels in his hand and is waving it around while 3 girls make out underneath him.

Some kid is trying to give away a swig from his bottle of whiskey and at first i walk by, but then i decide...fuck it. I grab the bottle and take a few gulps.

Im out in the hallway taking photos and someone asks me what i am. My reply is "Im just wicked fucked up", and he puts a bottle of sky vodka to my lips and doesnt take it down until theres at least 3 shots in my tummy.

Im pretty fucked up and i have magically acquired a few adderal pills. i snort 2 and im magically ok again.

I'm taking more photos and my friends girlfriend is looking really trashed so i snap a few pictures and then she starts posing. Im so high and fucked that i dont know what a camera is, but the pictures i take of her are amazing. she gets a bloody nose and i photograph her with the toilet paper stopping the blood. so great.

Im skanking to Rancid and Operation Ivy, i have a 40 in my hand. i am excited.

I've acquired 3 more adderal pills and after having one put on my tongue, i snort the others.

I rolled about 6 spliffs over the course of the night so im fucking soooo high. i drank about 1 40 and at leas 5 or 6 shots.

At about 3 am, the party is winding down and me mario, cute girl and this girl sam are talking in mario's room talking and shit. at about 5 he kicks us out and me and cute girl hit the bed. Im not tired at all so i lay in bed until about 9:30 when sam wakes up. Techno has been playing for about an hour, so i convince sam to go with me to see where its coming from. Down the hall there is an apartment thats turned into a club basically. its empty except for a bunch of 30 year old losers on ketamine and ecstasy. I smoke a cigarette and then walk to the corner store to buy a beer. I want to keep this buzz going ALL weekend.

I get back and convince cute girl to go to the techno room. We drink and laugh at the middle adged creepers. We finally decide to leave, only to discover that the door to the apartment we were sleeping in is closed and locked. we sit outside for about an hour before i decide to just pick the lock. a few minutes later we are in. no sooner than when i get into bed and get warm, everyone wakes up. Ben mentions pot so im up at the table in a flash. We smoke a bowl and after sitting at the table for 30 mins, we start filtering out at about 12 or 1.

At 7pm, me and cute girl board a train destined for philly. We arrive in philly at 9. I am so fucked. Im hungover, beggining to crash from the adderal and im miserable. i decide i hate philly and that i instantly want to be home. at about 10 oclock, we get to Melodys house (previously in brooklyn adderal night and brooklyn adderal night continued). I get up stairs and crack open a beer. Awesome. I fee much better. After 2 or 3 more, i go into the bathroom and do my last adderal pill.

***Memory lapse***

Me and jake are playing Beirut (beer pong) and im killing. i sink like 4 cups in a row. we lose how ever so i buy some pot and smoke a bit. Cute girl decides to go to a bar with her friend from philly and i am left to find entertainment in philly at melodies. Melody is that entertainment. She is SOOOO plastered. she cant walk straight or talk coherently, however she is more sober than her friend dan. Dan is so shot he literally cant stand, he gets rolled down the stairs, and i pick him up and carry him up the stairs.

Once again, the night is a jumble and so here are random events:

Im on the beirut table again, and im playing swing and old punk for everyone.

Someone stole my ipod. i am angry. I drink more and sit on the floor.

Someone found an acoustic guitar and is playing Red Hot Chili Peppers. Everyone knows the words. it is fun.

There is a kitten running around.

I am drunk. I am rolling another spliff. (spliff number 4 or 5 by this point)

someone found my ipod. Sweet.

Melody is crying. She is drunk. we comfort her. She decides we are all her best friends and that she loves everyone.

There are about 9 or 10 kids taking up every inch of floor space in the living room. some are passed out and others are just sitting. Jake falls onto cute girl and me, then proceeds to pass out against the wall. at this point there are only about 3 kids left awake and i decide im ready to REALLY start drinking. So i grab some tequila and pour myself a drink. after that is gone, i make a vodka sunrise and down it.

Me and melody decide we need food. I'm on that shit so fucking fast, i whip out pots and knives and i think about making all this shit. I decide that tuna salad with apples, celery and carrots is the best thing ever. We all concur that the tuna salad i made was the most banging ass tuna salad EVER. I sit down in the corner and discover there is only 15 beers left. I also discover that i feel almost sober, despite being VERY drunk.

I calmly report to the dead silent room that i am not moving until the beers are gone. It is a blatant lie. 3 beers in and im tired and want to lay down, so i open another and sit on the floor. We discover that Jimmy (kid on bed) peed himself.

I find crutons in the cabinet. I eat them all.

***Memory lapse/Pass out***

I wake up at abotu 930 to the sound of Melody SCREAMING! she decides we all need to drink more. so we do. I shot gun a beer after sipping one, and me cute girl and jake head out to find the bus and get back to NYC. I snag 3 beers for the ride home.

I roll a spliff and smoke it on the way to the bus.

We arrive at the bus and sit down with fried chicken we just got. I eat that and drink a beer, and pass out on the train. i am too fucking tired. I awake in Jersey City and when we get off the bus in chinatown, i open a beer and wrap it in a napkin. I drink that beer on the way back to my dorm. When i arrive in my dorm i realize i have one more beer left so i roll another spliff and drink the last beer.

After a refreshing ass shower, i pour myself a double shot of Dubra vodka and after doing it, i decide that i am indeed fucking stupid. I get into bed and watch a few movies.

It is 10:12pm as i write this. After this post, i am going to pour one more shot, roll one more spliff, consume them and then watch tv until i fall asleep. Goodnight. Happy halloween.